Killjoys at NASA cancel Doomsday

[james_davis_nicoll]

"Using updated information, NASA scientists have recalculated the path of a large asteroid. The refined path indicates a significantly reduced likelihood of a hazardous encounter with Earth in 2036."

Fools! Have they never read those books where by creating some false crisis, the steely-eyed rocket men get the money to properly develop manned (and girled) spaceflight for the betterment of Man?

Comments

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

"Girled spaceflight" made me LOL at work.

[thesaucernews.livejournal.com]

...but they named it Apophis! Apophis! It would have been perfect! Now we're just gonna get hit by an asteroid without such an apocalyptically cool name, or just a serial number.

[james-nicoll.livejournal.com]

You know, it wouldn't be that hard to shift the closest approach 30,000 km closer to the center of the Earth, if we start now.

[dewline.livejournal.com]

Is it too late to deceive the authorities into setting up a wild-eyed scheme to steer the asteroid into medium-to-high Earth orbit so that we can mine the Hell out of that sucker?

[thesaucernews.livejournal.com]

If the extinction of my species comes about due to the impact of Asteroid Petunia or something, it's just going to be embarrassing on top of everything else.

[shsilver.livejournal.com]

if "manned," then shouldn't it be "wommanned"?

"girled" would indicated "boyed".

[james-nicoll.livejournal.com]

In those old stories, men were real men but women were just girls. Smelled nice, though.

[shsilver.livejournal.com]

Given that I'm currently halfway through copyediting volume 2 of the selected stories of Lester del Rey, I can certainly agree with that statement. Even though I axed the stories which were most blatantly sexist.

[anton-p-nym.livejournal.com]

if "manned," then shouldn't it be "wommanned"?

Not in the stories James is citing, no.

-- Steve can just imagine the pipe our handsome, clean-cut, brilliant hero would take from his lips to correct his plucky girl Friday's misunderstandings.

[anton-p-nym.livejournal.com]

Blast, I posted too slowly.

-- Steve knew he should've ignored that phone call.

[dewline.livejournal.com]

I'll settle happily for "live-crewed".

[fridgepunk.livejournal.com]

What is the DeltaV to capture this one?

[james-nicoll.livejournal.com]

Back when Baen was reprinting Laumer and I was getting copies via the SFBC, I believe I may have used the "horrifyingly sexist even for the 1960s" warning. ISTR even Flint warned readers about that aspect of Laumer's work.

[http://users.livejournal.com/krin_o_o_/]

Dammit! Somebody call the shop steward... They'll answer to the Space Engineers Union for this!

- krin

[thesaucernews.livejournal.com]

I had an idea somewhere in the pile in which they essentially tossed the asteroids into Earth, let them hit the ocean or somewhere reasonably inpopulous, and mined them terrestrially because it would be cheaper than building the infrastructure to mine them in space. This scenario presents some minor issues of its own, however.

[derekl1963.livejournal.com]

"This scenario presents some minor issues of its own, however."

Minor ones... Like any asteroid of mineable size being large enough to wipe out all life on earth - regardless of where it lands.

:)

[nelc.livejournal.com]

Not for the betterment of Man and Girl?

[thesaucernews.livejournal.com]

yeah... plot scenarios were pretty limited with that one.

[http://users.livejournal.com/krin_o_o_/]

Yeah, that's gonna suck at the pearly gates:

"Next," calls out St. Peter.
"And your party would be?" he asks of a waterlogged soul.
"Victims of Hurricane Cassandra" replies the first in the huddled mass.
"Cassandra? That's 2031, the super storm right?"
"Yeah. That's us."
"How many in your party?"
"Fifty thousand and thirty-five souls, sir."
"Right, head on in and take the first left."
St Peter calls out "Next!" and looks down at a blasted charred mass.
"Hmm, and you would be?"
"Remains of the eastern hemisphere, we think..."
St Peter scatches his beard, "oh? Well, how did that happen?"
"Asteroid 2056p345, sir"
"What? 205... What was it's name again?"
"Didn't think it had one, sir"
"Right, how many in your party?
"About 6 billion..."
"Let me get this right, you expect me to believe that 6 billion souls died and nobody has a name for what did it?!"
The smoldering soul looks apologetic and says, "Well, I don't think anybody was left to give it a name."
"RIGHT! I've had enough of your cheek, all of you step over there and somebody will be along to deal with this."
St Peter sighs and mutters, "every generation, there's always a group of wise guys... Ever since that whole N1H5B24 thing."
"Next! And you would be?" he cries out.
"Western Hemisphere, sir. 4 billion."
St Peter looks up and sighs again, "Well, at least this looks like th last batch."

[http://users.livejournal.com/krin_o_o_/]

I recall something of a story where they diverted the planet killer comet into the moon, giving the moon a short lived (few hundred years worth) atmosphere and water, thus making it colonizable.

But for the life of me I can't remember the source!

[wyjoe.livejournal.com]

Can you say mega-tsunami? I knew you could.

[thesaucernews.livejournal.com]

Pish. That'll all blow over eventually.

[thesaucernews.livejournal.com]

In the meanwhile, iridium for everybody (left)!

[burger-eater.livejournal.com]

You're totally not joking, are you? That's a real plot, isn't it?

Of course it is.

I'm tempted to write a story about scattered bands of peaceful, sheep-herding orcs who discover that the odd, hairless creatures crouching in that lonely fort down the way have been justifying the ore, engineers, work crews and gold coins to build their new-fangled steam cannons and self-propelled carts by sending reports of marauding orc hordes back to the Imperium.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

Similar to the one about the fake alien invasion concocted to unite warring humanity. That was a pretty good Outer Limits episode, actually.