More Words, Deeper Hole

I'm assuming that you wouldn't have wanted a 'yes' that was based not on an autonomous decision but was driven by reflex, fear, or self-preservation. Most men I know really don't want that and some are genuinely troubled that societal programming has made them question even a sincere consent from a loved one. Confidence, to me, would be borne of self-esteem and would eliminate the need to be affirmed by a positive answer.

I'm describing a toxic system. Better would be one in which you aren't suffering insecurity and the other person isn't potentially acting from a position that's comparatively disempowered. I've said 'no' to someone and then gone on to have a great time with them, at that point and in future. Saying 'no' wasn't a value judgment about them as a person, certainly.