"15 Mid-Century Modern Dream Homes that will Kill Your Children"

[james_davis_nicoll]

Generally I am not keen on a lot of 20th architecture but some of these are quite nice.

The clean lines, the geometric decorative elements, the seamless blending of indoor and outdoor space… I sure do love mid-century modern architecture.

Do you know what I love more? My children. And that is why I will never live in my MCM dream home. Because mid-century modern architecture is designed to KILL YOUR CHILDREN. (Also, moderately clumsy or drunk adults).

Comments

[azurelunatic]

I'm not entirely sure I could navigate those stairs.

[seawasp]

So what they're saying is that it's a great environment for kids to learn that when mommy says "don't do that", she really MEANS it.

[evrymemry.livejournal.com]

WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN

but in all honesty those floating steps would probably kill me.

[nathan helfinstine (from livejournal.com)]

My favorite was the one with the narrow guardrail-deficient bridge across a moat, just to get to the front door. It's a trap for the UPS agent!

[kgbooklog.livejournal.com]

At least most of the railing-less ledges and stairs are flat/uniform. The one that scared me the most was the black and white photo of a reflecting pool, where the bridge was a handful of random sized overlapping slabs to maximize the chances of tripping. The visible electric outlet right next to the water is a bonus.

[ethelmay.livejournal.com]

Maybe that's where Peter Jackson got his anti-railing mania?

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

If I'm not mistaken, this is also a style that involves a step or two down (easy to forget about) to get from one major room to another, so that those open floor plans aren't too boring.

[(Anonymous)]

We don't need no stinkin' safety railings!

And neither does the Empire!

http://scifi.stackexchange.com/questions/24885/safety-railings-in-the-star-wars-universe

http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0452.html

[julesjones]

I'm afraid of heights. I felt dizzy just looking at the photos of the floating stairs. The spiral one would have me curled into a whimpering ball if I was expected to actually use it.

[editrx.livejournal.com]

I grew up in one of those types of homes - sort of makes me wonder how I survived. I do admit I jumped off the garage roof (um, more than once - I thought I might be able to fly, since I could in my dreams, and this demanded repetition for serious scientific study!). Other kids in my neighborhood had similar homes of weirdness and we didn't think much of climbing, exploring, etc. I mean, none of us died. I did open my lip once in one fall (not from the garage, but from a step).

My godfather, Howard Head (Head skis, Prince tennis rackets, etc. - crazy and lovely inventor), had a huge home in Baltimore with a sort of moat made of "floating" tiles surrounded by hip-deep water and HUGE koi. I mean really really enormous. One night, pretty drunk, he missed some step and fell in. Apparently ran to a neighbor's and called the police that someone had attacked his house by putting sharks "in his front lawn." My mother had to drive from DC to Baltimore to bail him out of the drunk tank.

[txanne.livejournal.com]

Climbing wall, YES. Open fireplace, YES. Reflecting pool, NO. House mold is bad enough without giving it a beachhead.

But the real reason I don't want a house like that is the heating/cooling bills. Give me a nice pre-A/C Arts and Crafts bungalow with functioning windows. And transoms, so I can let the air in and keep the cat out.

[t--m--i.livejournal.com]

I loved the comment where someone asked (seriously or just very good at deadpanning?) whether that post, which included the phrase, "rabid bats", was serious.

[dcseain.livejournal.com]

The HS i didn't attend has floating stairs, if ones with railings on what would be the open side.

[laetitia-apis.livejournal.com]

Maintaining the over-wrought tone appears to have gotten to be a bit of a strain about halfway down the page. Puts me in mind of the Gallery of Regrettable Food. But it ends sooner, so the author doesn't get as far into puerility.

[felis-sidus.livejournal.com]

Let's see... At about age 4 I followed my older cousins up on the pitched roof of our 1940s bungalow. None of us fell off, but we did knock down the suspended ceiling in our den. Somewhere between ages 3 and 5 I fell an down an entire flight of safely enclosed stairs in my aunt and uncle's conventionally designed town house. Somewhat later, I slid slowly off the roof of the old-fashioned garage at my father's office where my sister and I had climbed to pick the grapes dangling from a vine in an overhanging tree.

When we moved into a mid-century modern house when I was seven, I had no trouble managing the step-down family room, the balcony off my parent's room which led out onto a roof with both pitched and flat portions that were great for sunning and jumping off of, or the roof itself. The only one who ever was injured by the design of that house was my mother, who gave herself a black eye when she was insufficiently cautious while opening the front door with the doorknob in the center of the door.

As a young adult, I caught the heel of my shoe at the top of a set of stairs which turned 180 degrees at a landing half-way up. Or down, more to the point. Through a series of acrobatic maneuvers I managed to land on my feet on the landing, no thanks to the nice, protective bannister.

I conclude from all this that any house will kill your children if they're adventurous enough and that stairs are not my friends. Those open stairs probably would do me in even today.

[joenotcharles.livejournal.com]

Some of the more elaborate ones won't ever have children in them anyway. If you're rich enough to afford that house, you're rich enough to afford boarding school.