My first Beaverton piece

[james_davis_nicoll]

I am torn between squeals of glee and WORSHIP ME AS YOUR GOD.



ChatGPT user delighted to combine sloth with theft

Comments

[cathrowan]

Congratulations! Pure coincidence that Chaz shares a last name with an author named Dave?

[patrick_morris_miller]

It is becoming increasingly difficult to find a surname not yet attached to at least one author.

[james_davis_nicoll]

No offence to the late Dave Wolverton/David Farland, the given name I think of in connection with Wolverton is Basil.

[bolindbergh]

I thought the publication was named "The Beaverton", not just "Beaverton"?

Anyway: Wikipedia page updated. Feel free to complain if "occasional columnist" is a misleading description.

[elusis]

It is "the New York Times" but one humble-brags about having a "Times piece."

[(Anonymous)]

I've encountered snobs that insist that "Times" or "the Times" in reference to a newspaper can only properly refer to "The Times [of London]". To be clear I mention this just so I can express how provincial I find such people, and how annoyed they get when I call them provincial.

--
Nathan H.

[(Anonymous)]

There's a hundred newspapers nicknamed "the Times" - there's only one actually named "the Times." They're being provincial?

Being picky about the Times is deep and irritating pedantry, but "the real [X] is the US [X]" is a very well-worn and deeply annoying internet dynamic and the last few years particularly have made reflexive US cultural hegemony really wearing to those of us who live in the benighted and possibly imaginary "rest of the world."

[kithrup]

Yay! And it's eligible for Best Short Story!

[james_davis_nicoll]

I did not consider that.

[jessie_c]

AI will write your books and even fight with politicians. Okay, some politicians.

[princessofgeeks]

Congratulations! It was very funny. My favorite part was the fake names of fake sins.

[neowolf2]

Grath, hoth, and lurm!

When presented with the prompt "Give names for three new deadly sins" ChatGPT provided this:

Here are three invented deadly sins, crafted in the spirit of the traditional seven, with a modern or philosophical twist:

1. Oblivaria (The Sin of Willful Ignorance)
Definition: The deliberate avoidance of truth, learning, or awareness—choosing comfort over understanding, even when ignorance harms others.
Symbolic Animal: The ostrich (head in the sand).
Color: Pale gray.
Punishment in a Mythical Afterlife: Eternally wandering a maze of mirrors, each showing a truth once ignored.

2. Vantagium (The Sin of Exploitative Opportunism)
Definition: Using power, charm, or intellect to manipulate situations purely for personal gain, regardless of cost to others.
Symbolic Animal: The spider.
Color: Tarnished gold.
Punishment in a Mythical Afterlife: Climbing an endless golden ladder that collapses with every step forward.

3. Nihilith (The Sin of Destructive Apathy)
Definition: Apathy so deep that it erodes hope, beauty, and meaning—not merely indifference, but the active draining of purpose from life.
Symbolic Animal: The vulture.
Color: Black-violet.
Punishment in a Mythical Afterlife: Trapped in a void where all voices echo with one's own emptiness.

Would you like matching virtues for these as well?

[patrick_morris_miller]

Read the room.

[riderius]

Congratulations! And a natural fit for your style - all you need to do is make the snark a litte less deadpan 8-)

[bolindbergh]

Right, no need to shift the Beaverton window.

[elusis]

oof, I physically flinched

[arcanetrivia]

oh GET OUT XD

[magedragonfire]

Well done!

[bunsen_h]

I'm always somewhat boggled when I see a Grammarly ad which targets educators, trying to get them to have their students use it to "improve" their writing. The point of giving writing assignments to students is to get them to develop their own skills..!

[glaurung]

FYI, JWZ has blogged your article. https://www.jwz.org/blog/2025/05/chatgpt-user-delighted-to-combine-sloth-with-theft/

[james_davis_nicoll]

Huh.

[glaurung]

I guess you Have Arrived. But where, and is it a place you wish to be? These are questions.

[elusis]

JWZ (former Netscape engineer, nightclub owner, and popular figure among programmers) linked to your story on his blog and at Mastodon so the Beaverton editors will likely be happy with your traffic numbers!

[bolindbergh]

JWZ (former Netscape engineer, nightclub owner, and popular figure among programmers)

Nobody I ever heard of.

[patrick_morris_miller]

He also writes XScreensaver, one of the better collections of display hacks and which runs on damn near everything with a display except for Windows (which he will never, ever port it to). Has amusing canned rants about Richard M. Stallman.

[elusis]

What a fascinating way to respond to another person.

[bolindbergh]

Snark directed at JWZ (whose web site says "I expect you to have heard of me"), not at you.

[elusis]

Perhaps you'll want to be more careful of your aim next time.

[james_davis_nicoll]

Also huh.

[rosefox]

Congratulations! And on the JWZ boost as well.

[martianmooncrab]

at first I was confused, since Beaverton is a city in Oregon

[james_davis_nicoll]

There is also a Beaverton, Ontario.