My first Beaverton piece

[james_davis_nicoll]

I am torn between squeals of glee and WORSHIP ME AS YOUR GOD.



ChatGPT user delighted to combine sloth with theft

Comments

[cathrowan]

Congratulations! Pure coincidence that Chaz shares a last name with an author named Dave?

[patrick_morris_miller]

It is becoming increasingly difficult to find a surname not yet attached to at least one author.

[james_davis_nicoll]

No offence to the late Dave Wolverton/David Farland, the given name I think of in connection with Wolverton is Basil.

[bolindbergh]

I thought the publication was named "The Beaverton", not just "Beaverton"?

Anyway: Wikipedia page updated. Feel free to complain if "occasional columnist" is a misleading description.

[elusis]

It is "the New York Times" but one humble-brags about having a "Times piece."

[kithrup]

Yay! And it's eligible for Best Short Story!

[james_davis_nicoll]

I did not consider that.

[jessie_c]

AI will write your books and even fight with politicians. Okay, some politicians.

[princessofgeeks]

Congratulations! It was very funny. My favorite part was the fake names of fake sins.

[neowolf2]

Grath, hoth, and lurm!

When presented with the prompt "Give names for three new deadly sins" ChatGPT provided this:

Here are three invented deadly sins, crafted in the spirit of the traditional seven, with a modern or philosophical twist:

1. Oblivaria (The Sin of Willful Ignorance)
Definition: The deliberate avoidance of truth, learning, or awareness—choosing comfort over understanding, even when ignorance harms others.
Symbolic Animal: The ostrich (head in the sand).
Color: Pale gray.
Punishment in a Mythical Afterlife: Eternally wandering a maze of mirrors, each showing a truth once ignored.

2. Vantagium (The Sin of Exploitative Opportunism)
Definition: Using power, charm, or intellect to manipulate situations purely for personal gain, regardless of cost to others.
Symbolic Animal: The spider.
Color: Tarnished gold.
Punishment in a Mythical Afterlife: Climbing an endless golden ladder that collapses with every step forward.

3. Nihilith (The Sin of Destructive Apathy)
Definition: Apathy so deep that it erodes hope, beauty, and meaning—not merely indifference, but the active draining of purpose from life.
Symbolic Animal: The vulture.
Color: Black-violet.
Punishment in a Mythical Afterlife: Trapped in a void where all voices echo with one's own emptiness.

Would you like matching virtues for these as well?

[patrick_morris_miller]

Read the room.

[riderius]

Congratulations! And a natural fit for your style - all you need to do is make the snark a litte less deadpan 8-)

[bolindbergh]

Right, no need to shift the Beaverton window.

[magedragonfire]

Well done!