Apparently there is going to be another Jurassic Park sequel

[james_davis_nicoll]

Set at "Jurassic World". I would love to hear a Bob Newhart-style monolog from the point of view of the insurance broker tasked with getting insurance for JW.

Comments

[onyxlynx]

*Laughing hard enough for tears and racking coughs*

[anton-p-nym.livejournal.com]

Since the insurance representative in "Jurassic Park" got eaten by a T-Rex, I'd be equally interested in a Bob Newhart-style monolog from the point of view of the broker.

-- Steve wonders how a follow-on group would find enough investors, given the somewhat dire public relations problem involved.

[agent-mimi.livejournal.com]

When I was an insurance broker assigned to get coverage for our city's fireworks display, there were many days I wished I could get out of the job by being eaten by a dinosaur.

[nathan helfinstine (from livejournal.com)]

Really? Fireworks are a routine-enough thing that I would have expected getting insurance for the show to be not a big deal procedurally-wise. Expensive, maybe, depending on the track record of whoever you hired to do the show, but not hard to get underwritten.

[agent-mimi.livejournal.com]

Routine but dangerous and under highly variable conditions that one can't control (weather, crowd size, traffic, etc.) We didn't have a city fireworks display this year because they couldn't get insurance at all. Apparently they've been self insuring for a few years (through bonding, I'm assuming) but weren't able to this year, not sure why.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

I would support an Indiegogo campaign to commission Newhart for this. Does he take requests?

Also, this could produce a follow-up monologue in which he has Indiegogo/Kickstarter/Patreon and the like explained.

[anton-p-nym.livejournal.com]

Hmm... there is some precedent...

-- Steve smells opportunity here.

[awesomeaud.livejournal.com]

Does anyone have his email address?

[movingfinger.livejournal.com]

"Dinosaurs---yes---you know, for kids!"

[bedii.livejournal.com]

I think that a Richard Pryor version would have been exceptional as well--Pryor thought enough of Newhart that he told him that he'd stolen a copy of Newhart's first album when he met him, and when a stunned Newhart said "I made 25¢ a copy on those" Pryor instantly dug out a quarter. Newhart later said Pryor was the best comedian of the past 50 years.

[awesomeaud.livejournal.com]

Funny, I could never get into Pryor, either as a comedian or an actor. Something about him just rubs me the wrong way.

[bedii.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen much of his stuff, but have wanted to watch his TV show for little kids for years--it's supposed to be brilliant, but he only did something like 12 episodes because CBS was convinced he was trying to get dirty jokes to grade schoolers under the radar and they second-guessed everything on every page, so he quit.

He did do an amazing bit in one of the few clips of his non-kid stuff that I *have* seen. It was in one of his concert films at the beginning, and he told the white people in the audience that they were safe and wouldn't be beaten, murdered, or raped, then followed up by telling the black people in the audience that the white people in the audience were scared out of their minds and if they acted friendly to them the white people might consider going to something else that wasn't all white in the future. Funny, but with a punch to it.

[nathan helfinstine (from livejournal.com)]

If there was an original idea to be found in that trailer, I missed it.

Poor Chris Pratt. His career was going well, and now that thing has his name on it.

[mastadge.livejournal.com]

He'll be fine. The movie will be a moneymaker regardless of quality and then he'll bounce back when Guardians 2 makes eleventy bazillion dollars a year or two later.

[nathan helfinstine (from livejournal.com)]

In a facebook discussion, I was convinced of the truth of exactly what you said. As bad as it appears to be, Jurassic Park 4: We Have No Ideas is going to make at least $500 million, and that's the only score that matters in Hollywood. And Pratt is certainly on board for Guardians 2 at a substantially increased salary.

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

Our captain's tastes are simple, but his methods are complex:

He tried to hump Jurassic Park's Tyrannosaurus rex.

They'd built the park in North Dakota, in the USA;

That critter headed southwest and they wound up in LA.
 

Now we're ... banned from Fargo, every one,
  
Banned from Fargo, just for having a little run.
  
We spent a jolly shore leave, took each ride three times or four,
  
But Fargo doesn't want us any more.

from "Banned from Everywhere, or Lieder of the Banned",
a filk by yours truly of Leslie Fish's "Banned from Argo" (lyrics, MP3, both authorized)

[tandw.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[agharta75.livejournal.com]

Needs more sodomy.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

We have to stop saying that for everything.

[graydon saunders (from livejournal.com)]

I am increasingly annoyed by the size of the animals in Jurassic Park. They keep starting up and having something that must take twenty years or more to reach that size right there on prominent display.

Once the egg hatches, the organism has to grow. (and never mind that the big marine reptiles were plausibly all viviparous and that we have much more distant DNA for them and all the other hopeless handwaving.) AND the continued lack of feathers.

One almost has to suppose that the park is a front for the successful Victorian mad scientist attempt to re-create dinosaurs, but then you've got to explain where the breeding population is hiding.

[arielstarshadow.livejournal.com]

They have a Growth Ray! They keep in with the Shrink Ray!

[dionysus1999.livejournal.com]

Henry Pym to the rescue.

[graydon saunders (from livejournal.com)]

Hank Pym might manage to produce a fusby fluffy mass of natal down twenty feet high, but I don't think there's a generally accepted way to get something to develop for twenty year's worth of growth with quite the same cavalier ease.

[awesomeaud.livejournal.com]

"Hank Pym might manage to produce a fusby fluffy mass of natal down twenty feet high, ...."

I'd pay to see that! I'd pay more to pet it!
:)

[graydon saunders (from livejournal.com)]

If we go by newly hatched extant dinosaurs that are precocial, they're subject to unplanned beak-plants when attempting rapid movement but there's very little wrong with their ability to try to eat anything that looks interesting.

Given the Jurassic Park customer safety record, I wouldn't want to go presuming that the restraints intended to prevent untoward beak-plants at the upscaled size were going to prevent inhalation of individuals attempting petting.

Might even be an impromptu eulogy about the high quality of the synthetic corundum gizzard-stones.

[awesomeaud.livejournal.com]

Would a newly hatched critter have gizzard stones already?

But you're right; the beak-plant and eat-anything-that-moves problems would have to be solved. Still, for something that cute a lot of people would be willing to risk it.

[graydon saunders (from livejournal.com)]

Well, it is an _impromptu_ eulogy, but I'd expect they wouldn't let Dr. Hank Pym at anything freshly hatched. It should get a chance to dry off and eat something, first, so I'd expect the fusby mass of floof would be a day or two or even three, old. Bound to be provided with gizzard-stones by then.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

It irks me more that the glimpses of stegosauri in this trailer look like Robert Bakker's observations about how they likely moved still have not been taken on board,

[elfs.livejournal.com]

The plot line pegs my stupidometer. "We've poured billions into genetic research. We can do anything we want with this line. The park had a terrible opening, yes, but now we can fix it! We can make an ever more vicious, more intelligent dinosaur!"

"When I am Evil Overlord, one of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation." - The Evil Overlord List