Silly Jospeph. It's what people used to call it. Naval slang, I believe -- but you were discharged from the Navy under rather poor circumstances, weren't you. Drink, drank, drunk, broken, can't even piss without pain, an emotionally disturbed 14-year-old trapped in the wreck of a damaged body. Fortunately you know the truth about medical science, how cancer is actually a viral disease and how if only you found the right doctor who could fill the right prescriptions, you could become a real boy and cut yourself loose from your mother.