Try "not encountered a former Soviet-bloc hotel before". The toilet-paper rule is found worldwide, "light fixtures fall from the ceiling in the middle of the night" is not, nor is "opened door to find construction workers napping in bed".

There is a distinction between "bring your own toilet paper" and "the lobby is choked with construction debris". Not to mention the lulu of a story that came out of a press conference today (multiple witnesses). Paraphrasing from memory:

Russian official: We know that the reporters are deliberately sabotaging their rooms. We have security video of them pointing the shower head at the wall, turning the shower on, and leaving the room.

PR representative, brightly: Let's go tour the media center!